Uma esquizocrônicapara Samuel Beckett Na forma do caos

Nuvens radioativas, pacotes econômicos: nunca fomos tão felizes! Terroristas líbios, uma colagem de Vicente Kutka, qualquer ponto do sensível, ah: resgates, punks no metrô, copos de vinho tinto, um blues de Bessie Smith, sauna japa na Liberdade, trocar lençóis na sexta, Anjelica Huston de chapéu negro, aquele olhar chiquérrimo sobre o mundo, táxis, táxis, alguém no JB referindo-se aos "esfuzian- tes-anos-80" (?), cortes na seleção, leves paranóias, mas eu sei onde estou metido, gangues juvenis, a frase de Beckett dando voltas na cabeça: nenhuma dor, quase nenhuma dor—isso é que é maravilhoso, velhinhos tocando Olhos negros no Brahma, cartão-postal de Paris na cabeceira, tons dourados, folhas mortas, como te amei e não dis­se, Giovanni guilhotinado por amor, imperceptivelmente chegar à próxima face depois desta, talvez desprezível, graves paranóias, o relógio da Paulista marcando trágico, lento & inexorável o come­ço do fim de domingo, sinto falta de você, hi-fi com Fanta: astral Bukowski, geladas fotos sensuais de Pedro Fedrizzi, alguém me chamando de "tiete-bem-pensante" (?), mas não pensem que não sei onde estou metido, pessoas cirandando em torno de um poste, ma­drugada de sábado no Bexiga, engarrafamentos de trânsito, pressa dentro dos táxis, dragão tatuado no braço, muito busto, muita coxa, Hélio que vai para a Europa, yuppies na Oscar Freire, Bruna Lombardi, Diadorim, homem-mulher, feijoada no Supremo, nenhuma im­portância, só porque sei onde estou metido, outra vítima de aids, pa­rem de me testar: sou legal, cara, pizzarias entupidas de criancinhas, táxis, táxis, atriz argentina joga-se pela janela, e se eu dissesse de repente e sem pudor eu-te-amo? Patrícia em prantos ao telefone, de pura transgressão beber litros de água mineral em pleno Madame Satã, quem me seduz? Olhar com medo, olhar com perdão, olhar com interesse, olhar com náusea e paixão, e de jeito nenhum com­preender nada de onde se está desgraçadamente metido, telefones que não param de tocar, Rê Bordosa minha amada à beira do suicídio, não esquecer de comprar gilete G-II, que falta faz Ana C., meu Deus do céu, palavras lindas na letra M do Aurelião, repetir fascinado me- tâmero, metasterno, metereoscópio, paranóias desenfreadas, tudo o que você quiser, e táxis, táxis, monóxido de carbono, amigos solici­tando estranhíssimas cumplicidades, copos e copos de vinho tinto, ninguém dizendo meu-amor, suspeitas, censura interna outra vez, palavrão não pode, esse filme que já vi e por isso mesmo sei onde es­tou metido, uma carta que não chega nunca, nossa, como estou me lixando, vela branca pro anjo da guarda, bate outra, sal de frutas, pó de guaraná, candidatura de Gabeira, sen-si-bi-li-da-de-ex-ces-si-va não, meu caro: honestidade, epidemias, vírus, pestes, dengues, devia vender mais caro minh'alminha inestimável, Toninho amea­çado pelos skinheads, nenhuma solidariedade, azia na certa ama­nhã de manhã, saudade, saudade inútil o tempo todo de qualquer coisa indefinida, de alguém desconhecido, investigar preço de se­cretária eletrônica, ter certeza de que em algum ponto do caminho se perdeu e ponto, e pronto, acabou, e para sempre, querido e não tocado jamais, mobilizado pela raiva, por favor me leva daqui para que eu me esqueça de onde sei que estou metido, corrompido até o último hímen, já temos um passado, meu amor, me convida pra jan­tar na tua casa, bota Billie Holiday baixinho, depois me dá um beijo na boca, bem molhado, irrecusável, um sonho com Hilda Hilst, o texto, o texto, traí meu destino, companheira, empurrado pela de­sordem, sobrevivendo ao naufrágio, agarrado mísero e adjetivoso a meu pedaço de madeira flutuante, e agora chega, chega, let it be, let it be, baby, que la vie, em rose ou em black no duro — é sempre uma brasa, mora: o caos é a forma.
Quanto a vocês, salve-se quem puder. Porque quanto a mim, querida, querido, queridos—eu? Ah: eu juro por todos os santos que sei muitíssimo bem onde estou metido.

O Estado de S. Paulo, 6/5/1986


Marcadores:

| Por Caio Fernando Abreu | 26.1.14 | 21:16.

76 Responses to “A vida é uma brasa, mora?”

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    Eu sei muito bem onde estou metida
    um prato de comida
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    é tudo uma desordem
    chega o fim do dia
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    e eu sempre volto de ressaca
    transbordando pelos cantos
    me vomitando a cada esquina
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    Eliete, new-bossa. Para que vocês compreendam:xưởng in lịch o primeiro LP que comprei na vida foi de Sylvinha Telles. Tinha doze anos. Aos trinta e sete, só João Gilberto me in lịch để bàn chữ asereniza. Ou Astrud. Há um mês, só tiro para lavar uma camiseta escrita "Bossa-Nova", que o Pardal,in lịch để bàn chữ M lá da lojinha do mesmo nome, me deu. "Ah, bossa-nova, new-bossa, olha eu aqui sem viver" — chora minha rainha Rita Lee. A vida então se adoça. Gosto de mel, de flor, de azul. Não de avenida Paulista nem de Madame Satã.In lịch lò xo 7 tờ Preciso manter a ilusão de que tudo pode ser doce. Preciso acreditar que a vida pode ser como a voz de Eliete. E que em alguma esquina, um dia — por que báo giá lịch tết não? — encontrarei um amor bonito esperando por mim.in lịch độc quyền  

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